We’re officially a month into 2016! That was fast.
Here’s a reflection/update on my January resolutions:
- Drink at least 2 liters of water every day.
I was actually pretty good at this, and it got easier and easier each day. If I’m being honest, I probably didn’t hit my goal about 4 times. Two were days I was in a car for about 5 hours and I didn’t want to have to pee for the whole ride, and I didn’t drink much the evenings after those rides because I didn’t want to have to pee all night either- the other two were just forgetfulness or laziness. Alex joined me on this endeavor, and he found it easy from the very beginning because he was pretty much doing this every day naturally anyway.
There’s honestly a small part of me that wonders what the benefits of that level of hydration are- why am I drinking when I’m not thirsty? Is my body’s natural instinct just a little bit stunted? It worries me a bit that it’s so easy to drink that much water- it sort of makes me want to test whether I can still go with the amount of water I was consuming previously. I feel like I’ve created a new necessity for my body that it didn’t have before. Isn’t it more advantageous to require less water to function properly? I don’t know.
- No unnecessary shopping.
This was probably a little too easy- I don’t shop for pleasure too often, and while the mood struck me a few times, it was easy to squash because a) the resolution, duh and/or b) it’s snowy and cold outside.
- Read a book. [Note: this is going to be a goal every month]
I did not finish a book this month. I started and got a few chapters into “The Changeling of Monte Lucio,” a recommendation from my aunt- she and I tend to really like the same books and she lent this to me many months ago. Unfortunately, I got a little bored. Perhaps it’s my fault because I adamantly avoid reading the blurbs of books I plan to read, but the title suggested to me this would be a fantasy book. Instead it’s chock full of political/royal backstabbing and mind games, which to be fair I also enjoy reading about but the mood to continue just didn’t strike me during the month.
There was an interesting and unexpected side-effect of this “monthly resolution” attempt that I noticed this month. I actually thought to myself thing like “Oh, this is a resolution in the coming months- I can try to do this more often now just to make it easier then.” For instance, I’ve worked out almost every day for the past 3 weeks, when fitness wasn’t my goal until later this year. I was also very aware of how often I was eating out- another month’s resolution. Anyway, just an observation.
A quick note for next month- I swapped my August and February resolutions. I’m going to be waking up at the same time every day this month, and in August I’ll eat out only once a week. I did this mostly because when setting up my August resolution, I realized I naturally tend to wake up much more easily in the summers and I’m never as tired- I feel like I need this push in the wintertime when I’m feeling sluggish and have a lot of sleep issues. That, and I a lot of celebrations are happening this month and multiple food-related plans have already been made… oops >.>.
January was very… full. I learned a lot about myself.
A childhood/family friend of mine who I kept light contact with over the years committed suicide on January 8th. All I could feel for days was regret and panic. Would my talking to her more often and recently have helped at all? Are any of my friends suffering this badly right now? Who do I need to approach? How can this have been such an invisible problem? Why is death so unpredictable? I still don’t know what to do with myself, except to try and be more direct and open with my feelings for people and to attempt to communicate how important they are.
My own fear and sense of mortality aside, the more important consequence of this horrible event was the shockwaves the event sent through our South Asian community back in Phoenix. Mental health is not something that is freely discussed in our culture, though of course our (post or early immigration, 1st gen-ish) generation is a little better at addressing it, and seems to be continuing to do so after our friend’s death. I’ll probably never know the specific circumstances and reasons for her decision, and I’m not making any assumptions here; but until now I have never appreciated how immensely lucky to have grown up with the “Western” understanding of the importance of mental health, without the shadow of taboo.
I have never said this to anyone before, but I’m very afraid of death. I’m afraid of freak accidents and sickness, my own death and others’ who I love, and the finality, the change of plans, the suddenness. I think about it at least once a day, but I’m trying not to. I think the best thing to do is to try to live.
And I’ve definitely lived this month. I went on two ski trips- the first one I went skiing, the second one I learned to snowboard! I like both pretty equally, though snowboarding is a lot less scary for me.
I made good progress in my research and have a tentative plan for before next year’s graduation. I don’t want to jinx anything with sharing potential dates and whatnot, so I’ll wait to post anything for when things are officially scheduled.
Alex introduced me to podcasts with a bunch of episodes of “Planet Money” on our mini road trips to the ski resorts. I’ve been addicted ever since- I know am way behind the times, but I’ve never really known what Podcasts are, and wasn’t fully aware that they were free. I’m very happy to say they’ve consumed my life. Some of my favorites are “Note to Self,” “TED Radio Hour,” and “Hidden Brain.” I’m a little bit overwhelmed with how much there is to listen to. I usually begin listening on my walk home from work (if I listen on the way there, I won’t stop and I’ll be distracted the whole day), and during any tasks that don’t require a lot of focus- plotting data, doing laundry, tidying, cooking… and while I’m fully aware that this is completely neglecting the whole “being present” issue that is touted as a way to lead a full life, I’m really happy with how much I’m learning.
This month was productive for me in many ways- certainly in measurable and visible things like work, but I think I made progress with mind and body as well.
samuraisock 